Virtually His Read online

  He was enjoying this too much, she thought dazedly, even as she fought against her own response. He liked being in control of her and the more she fought him, the more ways he would find to get at her. It was all standard operating procedure in the book of mind manipulation. But, besides what he was claiming to be doing, what else was he trying to manipulate her to do?

  Later, back in the changing room, she stared at her lips, which looked redder than normal. He was diabolical. He hadn’t undressed her. It had been all in her mind because he’d made her think he was going to do it while she was out. Again, playing with her fears.

  She traced the outline of her lips with her fingers. Sensitive. As if she had been kissed thoroughly.

  “But it’s not real,” she whispered to her reflection.

  Two

  Internal focus wasn’t Helen’s strongest point. She much preferred action; thinking too much only muddled up one’s life. However, these new games were designed to make her work mentally as well as physically, and she couldn’t help but feel a little pissed off. She hated being manipulated and these days, someone was doing a whole lot of manipulating of her mind and body.

  Helen scowled, then quickly schooled her features. The last time she had betrayed herself like that, someone had pushed her through a series of exercises that he knew she would dislike, even though she now knew how everything worked, that nothing was actually real.

  She looked around the room. She had learned much about it in the last couple of months. The CAVE Ultimate—Cave Automatic Virtual Environment—was a ten-by-ten-by-ten room that was the newest in virtual reality immersion. Since its invention at the University of Illinois in Chicago, certain government agencies had further developed and enhanced the unique features of this new technology.

  One of the unique features of the CAVE was that it allowed multiple participants to experience the illusion that was virtual reality, with one participant controlling the environment. That first experience from two months ago—that had all been done with her alone in this room, with her invisible instructor in charge somewhere in the COMCEN complex. She now knew that he was in a similar CAVE somewhere, wearing the same type of special bodysuit that she was wearing but with the controls all on his side.

  That part of it was tough for her. She hadn’t liked what had happened that first time, even though she now knew they were testing her. No, he was testing her. She’d had this feeling all along that that dream-world into which she’d been thrown was entirely his creation.

  He’d had her put in darkness so she would feel unbalanced. That had solved the problem about the special glasses, too. If she had been able to see, she would have seen the VR goggles that covered half her face floating a few inches above. He had given her that stupid paralytic drug so that she couldn’t feel the rotating mechanical VR chair on which they’d placed her. All those feelings of being carried, being upside down, and the dizzying rush of movement were created by that equipment.

  Even after watching it in action without her on it, she was still amazed at how everything coordinated with those goggles. Wireless tracker-tabs that looked like sticky markers were placed on certain points on a person’s body, and these tabs corresponded to the chair, letting it know exactly how to move the person. That was how she was manipulated physically. It was interactive virtual reality at its finest.

  This was probably the most expensive playroom she’d ever had the privilege to romp in. Not bad for a dirty Russian orphan who only wanted a new Barbie doll, eh?

  Helen grinned at the thought. Oh well, let him be diabolical. She was tired of controlling her emotions when he was around.

  He was silent today. Not a word. It made her want to rile him to get some reaction, but that would only betray her irritation. Today they’d used the wireless trackers and a new pair of gloves. She’d stood on a glorified treadmill that created the illusion of motion while she got used to “spatial control of nonspace,” as her scientist-tutor Dr. Cunningham had explained to her.

  She was being prepared for the final frontier, so to speak. TIVRRV, appropriately pronounced TERROR, stood for Total Immersion Virtual Reality Remote Viewing, the top-secret project that required body and brain immersion and stimulation. Anyone who volunteered for this crazy experiment ought to be terrified.

  He was so damn quiet—why didn’t he say something? Or was that the new test?

  “You know, I’ve never had my brain waves synchronized with a man’s before,” she drawled, touching the lever to the right of the chair. The goggles raised slowly above her head. She peered up into them. Nothing, of course. “What exactly does that do, in your words? These scientists haven’t been able to explain it to me satisfactorily enough. I can’t get excited at terms like Immersive Visualization and Interactive Mind Flow.”

  She waited for ten seconds. The remote viewing training had been the toughest of everything she had been through, for her, because it was all about letting go mentally. But this new trainer, with his secretive ways, was taking it even further. He was ruthless with his need to control her and he didn’t care if he made her furious while doing it. In fact, she was sure he was somewhat amused by her rage. She was waiting for the day she’d see him in the flesh; she was going to wallop him.

  When she’d told him that, he’d replied, in that odd quiet way that always made her nerves sing, “I look forward to it.” And then he’d kissed her.

  Who was he? What was he? She wanted to know everything about him like she was sure he did about her. Not everything, she corrected fiercely. He couldn’t read her mind. If he could, he’d know just what she’d thought of him after what he’d put her through the first time in the CAVE. And all the torture she was going to put him through. It still pissed her off to think that somehow he managed to turn her on with his kisses. She had been celibate way too long.

  After two months, he still managed to rattle her when he ordered her to walk into a dark room. Not fear. Anticipation. His body felt so real and hard when she was crushed against him. He’d slowly tip her head back and then bend his down toward hers, taking his time, until every nerve in her body screamed silently for that kiss. He was toying with her. Bastard.

  “Hello?” she called out softly. Fine. She didn’t want to be polite anymore. The memory of those first sessions with him still ticked her off. “Just so you know, I didn’t think that last kiss was that fucking great interactively. Next time, don’t freeze my body up and I might show you exactly how to kiss a woman, asshole.”

  She turned at the sound of a cough. It was Derek the boy wonder computer wiz. A very embarrassed computer wiz, his face flushed as he looked at everywhere but her.

  “Ahem, umm, Miss Roston, can you follow me to the programming room?”

  Helen cocked her head. “Cutting short my training today?”

  Derek shook his head. “Actually, we’re ready to go to Test Bravo. We’ve finished the program that will enable you to choose an avatar for yourself as well as your monitor. Now we’ll test it after we’ve connected the brain wave simulation program.”

  More techie terms to learn. Test Bravo. That meant she’d passed Test Alpha. “Okay, let’s go,” she said, then stopped short. “Wait a minute…did you say for my monitor? Is that the same as my trainer?”

  “Yes, ma’am. It’s the same person.”

  “And we’re creating an avatar for him?” She understood the term. “I know an avatar is a representation of a user in a shared virtual reality. It’s usually some form of animated entity in web forums or web interactive games, right?”

  “Our new program goes beyond that,” Derek said, with a proud smile. “You’ll be amazed at our human simulation software and advanced digital mapping. Everything looks and acts superreal. In any case, you have total control, ma’am.”

  Helen smiled widely. “Is that right?” she drawled, and looking up at the goggles, she gleefully rubbed her hands. Test Bravo sounded more fun already.

  “You mean I can program the avatar to l
ook like some Greek god if I want to?”

  Helen sat back in the chair, crossed her ankles and clasped her hands behind her neck. She laughed, her amusement ringing out in the small room, as she rocked her chair gently. She narrowed her eyes speculatively as she stared at the computer screen, then turned to Derek, who was standing in front of it.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he answered, trying to keep his face straight. “Greek god or any deity you have in mind. Your monitor said you choose how you want to see him.”

  Helen laughed again. This might be the easiest part of her training. A virtual reality simulator with her own self-designed trainer. After a grueling year of hand-to-hand combat training with handpicked military personnel, she liked the idea of being the one in control again. It wasn’t quite so much fun when a bunch of men were ordering her around and she had to undergo strenuous testing all the time. Not to mention the medics and scientists standing around, constantly poking and prodding her.

  “Well, then…let’s modify this hideous male you’ve designed for me, sweetie.”

  The programmer’s face flushed pink at her teasing. Clearly he wasn’t used to someone like Helen Roston. He slid a quick glance at her long Lycra-clad legs. “What’s wrong with the model? I thought most women like their men tall, dark and handsome.”

  Helen arched a brow in mockery. “Excuse me, but are you telling me I’m like most women?”

  “She isn’t. She’s one hot babe who will kill you in a hundred different ways,” a voice mocked back from behind them.

  Helen didn’t turn around. “Ha, said the guy with the killer looks.” Flyboy was one of the most handsome men Helen had ever laid eyes on. An awful flirt, too. “How come you didn’t use Flyboy as a model, Derek? I heard he did a VR program for some big project to attract government funding.”

  Flyboy came up behind her and Helen felt his hands on the back of her chair. “Sweetheart, why would you need a VR version when you have the real thing right here?”

  Helen looked up and grinned. “You know, I can get Derek to make my VR trainer look like you and then I can do all those unmentionable things that you keep promising me.”

  Flyboy grinned back and winked. Derek coughed. “I could,” he said in a careful voice, “but really, I think it best if your trainer-avatar is someone you imagine, Miss Roston. It is simulated training, but there’s a real person whose brain waves will be connected to yours, and, it’s not a great idea psychologically to bond with a real person who isn’t real…I mean, you know what I mean….”

  His voice trailed off and he shrugged. He opened his mouth to continue but Helen waved him off. “Understood,” she told him and shrugged at Flyboy. “See? Can’t have you as my dream guy either. There’s too much brain wave—” She waved her hand dramatically and added, in a mock British accent, “Brain wave immersion, creating cerebral confusion between reality and illusion.”

  Even Derek couldn’t help chuckling at the wry mimicry of the professorial tone of Dr. Hollingsworth, the scientist in charge of Mind Viewer, the thought immersion program. Helen had had to sit through a few of his lectures as he explained what she meant to the program and how the experiments were supposed to work. That was when she’d first met Flyboy. Since he had been in a simulation program recently, he’d joined her a couple of times so he could also answer her questions. She was glad. She understood Flyboy’s easy layman’s description better than Dr. Hollingsworth’s technical language.

  Besides, Flyboy was the only one of the infamous nine commandos who had taken the time to get to know her. He had introduced her to other operatives, widening her circle of new friends.

  Helen liked him. She hoped the rest of the commandos would accept her as easily as he did.

  “I’m heartbroken,” Flyboy said, giving her ponytail a swift tug. “You’ll just have to go out with me and I can make your dreams come true, Hell.”

  “Yeah, yeah, okay, let’s get this started.” Helen straightened in her chair and sucked on her forefinger. “First, forget those bulging muscles. I mean, you made him look like some romance model, like what’s-his-name…”

  “Fabio,” Derek supplied helpfully.

  “Now how is it you come up with his name immediately?” Flyboy countered.

  Derek whipped out a paperback. His face was flushed again. “I took this off my sister’s bookshelf. He is Fabio, isn’t he? I thought I did a pretty good job with the digital imaging. I did add some changes, of course.”

  “You did use Fabio as a model!” Helen stared at the book cover in amazement. It portrayed a half-naked man with long hair, his muscles impossibly ripped. She looked at the other model on the computer screen. Yup, the likeness was there. Same longish hair and muscle tone. She thought of what had happened to her during that first run-through of CAVE Ultimate. Revenge was going to be so sweet. A wicked grin broke free. “Well, let’s see the goods, Derek. Take his pants off.”

  “What?”

  “Sheesh, if you’re going to design my trainer’s avatar and he’s to be specifically to my taste, shouldn’t I get to order all the details?”

  There was a short silence. Flyboy burst into laughter. He pulled a nearby chair between Helen and Derek. “I want to see this. Let’s check out the junk on Miss Roston’s made-to-order trainer, Derek.”

  “I…”

  Helen patted the man on the back. He had the look of someone facing torture. “Come on, I promise it’ll be over soon. Let’s start easy. Peel off his pants. And I want him blond, please.”

  “What happened to tall, dark and handsome? Or is it because I’m blond?” Flyboy asked.

  “Oh, shut up, you. He’s my Greek god, and I want him blond, and much sleeker, with chocolate eyes.”

  “Hey, I have blue eyes!”

  “Make his eyes chocolate, Derek.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” But he was clearly reluctant to give up his “creation.”

  “Leaner, not so muscular.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “I know you meant well, Derek, adding that fur, but really, not so much chest hair, please.” She suspected that Derek grew up playing too much interactive Dungeons and Dragons on the Internet. The avatar he created was the classic “I kill for food and magic” stereotype she’d seen advertised in game store windows.

  “What, you’re going to bury your face in his chest? These are going to be some VR training sessions! Are you sure the powers-that-be want that?” Flyboy asked, laughing.

  Helen turned to Derek. “Didn’t they order you to tailor the thing to my taste?” she asked.

  “Yes, ma’am. The idea for this phase of your training is to simulate the missions before you get your dosage. You need your trainer to talk you through as your body reacts to the drugs and the doctors thought it best to give you a measure of control of his avatar.”

  “Uh-huh. Hear that mumbo-jumbo, Flyboy? That means I get to make the guy as sexy as I like, and I demand a blond Greek god with chocolate eyes. For a start.” Helen cracked her knuckles. They were going to play with her mind, anyway, so why not have some fun with it? It was strange, but meeting her so far invisible trainer added a level of excitement that she couldn’t explain. It wasn’t going to be a real meeting, but better than that shadow he’d been using in the CAVE. “Let’s start from the top.”

  “He looks a lot better than the model Derek cooked up for your avatar,” T. observed. She leaned over to take a better look, then laughed. “Oh my God, she’s having fun, isn’t she? That’s Helen for you.”

  “Is she ready?” the man questioned.

  “Oh yes, as ready as a test supersoldier superspy can be,” T. said, half-seriously. “She’s been trained by Special Ops. She passed several of the CIA remote viewing tests with flying colors. She’s achieved 72.5 percent accuracy. She’s one of my best operatives and she’s not called Hell for nothing, you know.”

  “Yes, but she isn’t the best.” He turned to look at T. “You are.” T. fluffed her hair. “Darling, how do you do that? Praise
and accusation at the same time. I couldn’t take two years off for that kind of training, you know that. It’d ruin my nails. I picked the best operative we had. She’s single, unattached, and very ambitious. She wants to do this.”

  It wasn’t a good enough explanation for him. He wanted to know the real reasons. “She’s single and unattached—you’re sure of that.” It wasn’t a question. He didn’t want any third-party complications when he was just beginning this phase of their relationship.

  “That’s what she says and she’s been training very hard all this time. I haven’t seen any romantic affiliations except for some go-nowhere dates. I trust my operatives, and when Helen said she would do it, she meant it. That girl is very talented—I’m lucky the CIA didn’t snatch her from me.”

  “She’s too independent. CIA doesn’t like that.” T. shrugged. “That’s what GEM is. We’re all independent and if they don’t like it, why do they keep contracting us? Are you going to have a problem? This is going to be just as tough for you. Your brain waves being linked to hers during experimentation. Those scientists called it mind-bonding, darling and…” She cocked a brow. “We know how your mind is.”

  He smiled for the first time, a small quirk of his lips. He canted a brow in answer. “What, you don’t have confidence in your top operative playing mind games with me? And it’s Mind Setter, T.”

  The two phases to the Mind Viewer program were named Mind Setter and Mind Former. The first phase set the brain immersion in motion, linking him to Helen by synchronizing their brain waves during sleep, then after a period, during tests. They’d started this phase a couple of months ago.

  “Darling, I prefer my term. What’s happening is more intimate than mind-setting, or whatever Dr. Hollingsworth calls it.” T. crossed her arms. “Remember, Helen isn’t just trained in NOPAIN now. She has all these things being experimented within her mind. Who knows what she would do to you?” A challenging gleam entered her golden eyes. “Bet she’ll fight you all the way. GEM operatives have great resistance.”